so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
