At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
