He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
