Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Come share oat with me in your robe
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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