There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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