I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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