I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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