we have officially lost it.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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