i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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