Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
