i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
