you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
