Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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