I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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