he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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