were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
