He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I am naked and annoyed.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
