my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
