I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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