Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize