K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
