Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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