don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
