I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
