The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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