I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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