Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
