dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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