FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize