also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
