you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
