So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
