You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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