Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
