this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
