Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i think i have two assholes
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
