sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
NoShamevember. You game?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
