I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Green mimosas i think yes
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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