bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
