i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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