matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
