I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
