okay pat passed out under dana's car
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
