This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
