I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
