I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
