they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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