Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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