They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
