I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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