ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
