It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
