Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
