I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
