I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
