Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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