yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
