it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
