she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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