What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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