bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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