Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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