Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
